I’m Still Alive

Wow, I almost forgot that I had a blog to keep up on until Mega-Babe told me today that I need to put up a new post. This thing hasn’t been anywhere on my radar lately. I have to kind of prioritize things in light of the fact that I am  train wreck of an individual. If I were a horse, someone would have already put a couple of rounds into my head to put me out of my misery. DOUBLE TAP!

Just kidding…..well, not really. I meant it.

Well here are some random thoughts that I have had lately.

–          One of the local major universities recently had “Short person appreciation night” at their basketball game for anyone 5’2” and under. How do I not qualify for this? I am one of the shortest guys I know, but apparently I am too tall to go to “Short person appreciation night” when I am whopping 5’4”. I should have called and complained, but I didn’t care enough because the only way I would go to this school’s basketball game is if they were playing BYU, and they weren’t, so I don’t care.

–          Staying on the short person theme, the other day I was watching a show called Team Umi Zoomi with The Bug. Not my favorite show, but the boys love it. Anyway, if you don’t know the premise of the show, there are some tiny people who go help kids with their silly problems. Like this particular episode, there was a girl who was “REALLY HOT” (No, not “hot” like that you pervert. She was like 5. Grow up, would ya?) and the elephant sprinkler in the park would not work and cool her off. So, of course Team Umi Zoomi had to fix the problem by starting at the beginning and going to the reservoir to make sure there was enough water. (I was screaming at these morons to start with checking to see if someone turned the valve off, but apparently that was too obvious, so they didn’t bother. I don’t think this show is teaching my kids the best way to troubleshoot problems, but just my opinion. Checking the valve could have saved them a lot of time and effort.) Well, the problem was that there was a rubber ducky stuck in the pipe going to elephant, (Seems like the logical cause of the problem. You can see why I don’t like this show.) After they got it unstuck, they surfed the rest of the way through the pipe on the rubber ducky. The Bug said he wished he could surf on a rubber ducky one day. I tried to tell him that he was not being logical and told him to grow up some. Just kidding, I just asked him if he planned on shrinking. He started laughing and said, “Yeah, I’m gonna shrink and become a midget!!!” like being a midget was the most ridiculous thing anyone ever thought of. I didn’t bother to correct his non-politically correct use of the term, “Midget.” I just laughed with him and said, “Midget, that would be silly.”

I’m going to hell and apparently I am bent on taking my kids with me.

–          Now for a couple of ridiculous things I have spotted on my commute to work. Check out the awesome paint job on this piece of crap car:

Not sure what this guy is trying to say about himself. There is definitely some Asian influence going on here, but the guy is a cracker (white guy), so that’s kind of silly.

They are also doing some construction and there were a series of signs that were quite confusing. I tried to get a picture of the second sign, but the picture didn’t turn out, so you get the first and last sign. Here’s the first one:

 

 Then there was a sign that said, “STAY IN LANE.” And then there was this picture:

Umm…..I’m sure this caused more than one accident. Kind of confusing if you ask me.

–          Why do people bother putting labels that say, “Made in China?” Its not like China the country needs an endorsement. They are communist. They don’t care what anyone thinks of them. This has always struck me as a waste to print this tag.

–          Ok, back to the being short theme. I was just looking at Mega-Babes blog she keeps on our family, and wow! Donut is so short. I never realize how short he is until I see him around his friends. Poor guy, I know it bothers him. It probably bothered me as a kid and I was quite a bit smaller than Donut is, but I don’t remember. I am ok with being short. I am giant compared to the people going to “Short person appreciation night.”

– Finally, what post would be complete without pictures of boogers that someone wiped on the top of the plumbing of the urinal in the bathroom. Yeah, this person was doing some work. They left 3 of them there. This is all kinds of gross:

I bet Mega-Babe will think twice before she points out that I need to do a new blog post again. Lesson learned?