The Y Chromosome Club

Right off the top, I would like to say that I have never, nor will I ever, read the Twilight series. The whole premise of the book makes me cringe a little, but I know that it is quite popular, particularly with the ladies. This is a little odd to me. I know it is a love story and all that, but a High School girl falling in love with a 200 year old vampire or however old he is?? That is just wrong on SO many levels. It is against the law and carries hefty penalties (not hefty enough in my opinion) if an adult tries to have “relations” with someone under the age of 18, but because he’s a vampire, it is ok for him to rob the cradle?? Why doesn’t he have to register on any websites? Is it because his skin looks all pretty and shiny if he is out in the sun? Is it because he doesn’t sleep so that gives him more time to do the laundry? Is that what you ladies want in a guy?? A guy who sucks the blood from fresh road kill, doesn’t sleep, doesn’t eat, and looks like a 125,000 karat diamond ring on family day at the beach? Would you really want to kiss a guy who has just been putting his mouth on a dead rodent? Both creepy and disgusting!!!

How do I know all of this about the book if I haven’t read it? Funny story, that one is. Mega-Babe has read the books, and was quite excited to go see the movie when it first came out. Mega-Babe does SO many nice things for me, so when she asked me if I would go with her, I thought, “Why not?”

So, she bought the tickets online for opening day. I knew that it would be crowded and hard to get seats if we didn’t get there early, so I told MB that I would go to the theater straight from work and wait in line for us to save seats. OH BOY!!!

When I got to the theater, there were already about 80 people in line ahead of me. I couldn’t help but notice that I was the FIRST man/boy/guy/male/Y chromosome in the line, and the first person in line that was not wearing a shirt that said something like, “I Love Edward” or “Vampire Love.” If only I had known, I’m SURE I could have put something together so I wasn’t sticking out like such a sore thumb.

After being in line for about 5 minutes or so, another guy got into line right behind me, looking every bit as uncomfortable as I had been. Looking around, mouthing silently, “What the……”

Then he caught sight of me and wasn’t quite sure what to think about me. I could tell that he was trying to make up his mind about me. So I decided to make conversation and asked, “You saving seats for your wife too?”

“Yeah. What in the world is this? What have I gotten myself into?”

My sentiments exactly, so I was not alone now. I had a fellow soldier to fight alongside with in case this gaggle of vampire loving 13 year olds all of a sudden realized that there were strangers who didn’t belong in the “I Love Edward” Club and decided to attack.

A few minutes later, a third member of the all male club showed up. Guy #2 and I just started laughing at the look of complete confusion and disgust on his face and I asked, “Saving seats for your wife too?”

He looked quite relieved to know that he too was not alone. A little while later, an older distinguished looking gentleman showed up with a look of a man who was completely whooped, and the three of us all started to chuckle. Guy #2 posed the question this time, “Saving seats for your wife?”

“My daughters. I swear, I am the biggest sucker.”

I must say, not my favorite movie in the world. The whole scene where Edward starts to gag when the area fan blows a whiff of Bella his way actually made me gag a little too. And Bella is NOT a good actress. I know, I am being blasphemous here. I am probably going to get a brick through my front room window now, but the truth must be told.

On the flip side, I have seen the trailer for the second Twilight movie, and I think it actually looks kind of cool. I don’t want to think that way, but I was impressed in spite of myself.

Edward and Bella, a romance for the ages. A love built on the premise that he hasn’t killed her, so he must love her. Now THAT is a healthy relationship. But, I guess, isn’t that the premise of any healthy marriage? Find someone that you can spend the rest of your life with, without killing them. I still don’t know why Mega-Babe hasn’t taken that particular route with me yet. Heaven knows I have given her enough reasons to do so. The only explanation I can come up with is that it must be love.

Aww! Tender chickens.